08.20.08

The ‘living shed’

Posted in Environment, Philosophy at 8:21 am by Anthony

Six years ago when I was reflecting on the consequences of reaching half a century, I decided that henceforth all work on my house would be done with the aim of reducing maintenance to a minimum.

The first project was to get rid of the likeable but aging and difficult to maintain wooden garden shed. Once the sparkling new, galvanised steel, zero maintenance shed had been installed, I set about demolishing the old but much loved version.

I started by knocking out the back wall and breaking a window but then got tired and went in for a cup of tea. That was about five years ago and the shed is still there.

My first second thoughts about demolishing the shed came when I noticed that my cat Moggy, (Yes, I know, I know, very original) and some of his pals had commandeered it as a ‘summer house’. Situated at the edge of his territory it also made a good frontier post to fend off intruders.

Later, I read an article that described the best conditions for the proliferation of the beautiful and useful Ladybird. The old shed fitted the bill to a T. And I had indeed observed a noticeable increase in the population of this attractive creature.

Then one summer I noticed a group of wasps apparently ‘eating’ the whitened and decaying wood. Straight onto the ‘magic’ Google for enlightenment to learn the following;

“Unlike bees, the wasps have no wax producing glands and therefore cannot construct wax combs. To get around this they use paper which they make from wood pulp, just like we make paper from wood pulp. The wasps use their powerful jaws to scrape wood from trees and fence posts, this is then chewed up and mixed with saliva and then spread out to make combs.”

In addition, I learned that an abandoned shed like mine was an ideal shelter spot for fertilised female wasps to sit out the winter.

Over time, the roof of the shed developed a slump, the door would no longer close and the climber plant (Woodbine, I think) that I planted at the side has made its way through the broken window and is getting a firm grip on the roof.

I now look on the slowly decaying structure, not as a shed but almost as a living creature that has become part of nature itself. A creature that has struck a deal with the cats, ladybirds, wasps and all the countless other creatures that live in and off its bounty.

“Convince the human that I’m still useful, that I’ll provide shelter and food for you. That way I can live out my life to its full and natural end.”

By times, as I lounge in my seat looking at this ‘work of art’ created by nature, this inanimate object that has metamorphosed into a ‘living creature’ I think to myself:

“Anthony, the real reason you didn’t finish the job is because you’re a lazy fecker and now you’re trying to bullshit your way out of it.”

Opinion by return post please.

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